Am I Enmeshed?

WHAT IS ENMESHMENT?

Enmeshment is a relationship where there are very few, blurred, or no boundaries between the people involved. In this type of relationship, the members are bonded together by unhealthy emotions, behaviors, and dynamics. The relationship has begun to operate in a negative cycle rather than supportive of one another.

Where does enmeshment come from?

Enmeshment regularly occurs in relationships and families where there is an individual in active addiction or with an individual with a mental illness. Enmeshment often begins as a way to support the other person. It can also be a result of generational patterns and attachment styles.

What is an enmeshed relationship like?

If a relationship lacks clear boundaries such as those in which roles and expectations are confused, then there is possibly enmeshment. The people in the relationship begin to depend on each other for their own emotional and physical wellbeing rather than developing those on their own. Examples can include, parents who rely too heavily on their children, or two people in relationship not having separate identities outside of that relationship.

WHAT ARE THE SIGNS THAT I AM ENMESHED?

• You absorb other people’s feelings and feel like you need to fix other people’s problems.
• Your feelings and behaviors depend on the other person.
• You lack emotional boundaries.
• You find disagreements difficult with this person.
• You don’t have a strong sense of self.
• Your identity depends on this relationship.

WHAT DO I DO IF I’M DEALING WITH AN ENMESHED RELATIONSHIP?

According to The Couples Center you should do the following if you are dealing with an enmeshed relationship.

• Recognize the issue.
• Remember what your needs are and honor them.
• Embrace and honor your feelings.
• Reach out to a professional for support navigating the change in your relationship.
• Create and enforce your boundaries for the relationship.
• Practice saying no often and honoring what you need individually.
• Create and maintain meaningful relationships outside of your primary relationship.
• Discover your interests outside of that relationship and celebrate those.

WHY SANTÉ FOR THOSE IN ENMESHED RELATIONSHIPS COMPLICATED BY ADDICTION?

Santé Center for Healing provides integrity-driven, evidence-based, and personalized long-term recovery customized for those suffering from substance use disorders, mental health, trauma, problematic sexual behavior, co-occurring disordered eating and other compulsive behaviors. When you love someone in active addiction, you play a crucial role in establishing boundaries, outlining support available and discussing expectations for recovery; let Santé help you, your family and friends get there. Founded in 1996, Santé’s mission is to provide long-term recovery because left untreated, addiction is a fatal disease.

 

Photo: Adobe Stock Images

 

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